If I were a pop star, or at least a bit musically inclined and photogenic and wanting to be a YouTube sensation, I would be inspired to make a music video that features a scene like this:
Me, reclined in the back of a limo, wrapped in a (fake, of course) fur and wearing designer sunglasses. Holding a Jamba Juice. Or maybe a Frosty.
Cut to: Shirtless British footballer with gorgeous eyes rubbing my feet. [In reality, it would be a foot double, because these flippers aren't made for film. But since it's my video, I'd get a pedi while they were shooting the scene.]
We both turn to look as the limo door opens.
We're blinded by the glow of a Waffle House, until a dark figure blocks the glare.
Johnny Depp slides in with a scattered, covered and smothered plate of hash brown goodness and feeds forkfuls of it to me with a smirky smile.
We ride off to the beach to watch the sun rise, and then I sleep.
Instead, I just dream these things and wake up in the middle of the night really, really hungry.
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